Cricket Fricassee -- Coming To A Dinner Plate Near You.

What's the 11th most effective way to save the world, just slightly behind irrigating your houseplants with reserved canned vegetable water and/or weaving abandoned spider webs into incredibly sustainable dish sponges? Just give up meat. Oh, really...can't I have one simple pleasure in my life anymore? Well, the more we demand conventionally raised animal flesh, the greater the burden placed on our natural environment. A tremendous amount of resources are depleted in the production, processing and shipping of each t-bone, chicken breast or pork chop that Americans clamor for. Ever-escalating populations of factory-farmed moos, squawkers and oinkers need to eat, which requires vast expanses of agricultural land. Thirsty crops are plagued with incessantly hungry insects that end up getting doused with a battery of temporarily effective pesticides. This vicious cycle of water used and chemicals/waste by-products churned out into assorted ecosystems gives the industry top marks as one of the worst environmental offenders under the sun.  

Granted, Meat Free Mondays may have spawned a mini semi-vegetarian "go greener" movement. Judging from today's bold grocery displays of dirt-cheap carby fillers like mac-n-cheese and breakfast cereal, perhaps budget crunched consumers have played along to a certain degree, but even the most game semi-veggie shoppers start running on empty when they've had one too many dinners involving beans, pasta, eggs, oatmeal, cottage cheese, and peanut butter. Despite great green intentions, sometimes all a person wants is a protein-packed meal that they can really sink their teeth into. Tofu? Mmmm, not so much. Staunch vegetarians have been known to admit that all of the nuts, seeds, and whole grains in the world can sometimes get lackluster after a while. So, what can we do to resist the allure of animal flesh and seek out greener, meat-free pastures?

Eat bugs, and lots of 'em. Why the scrunched-up face? This is no joke...well over 90 different countries feast on the impressively protein-packed food source, Asia leading the way with countless roadside vendors dispensing deep fried crunchy locust-grub-cricket-and-cockroach treats.  You inadvertently munch on assorted critters too every time you consume hot dogs, frozen broccoli or hot chocolate -- how comforting that the U.S. government allows certain insect quotas per typical portion. Of course, as we search for more sustainable sources of protein to feed our soaring population, ground-up-bugs could become the new veggie burger replacement. Unlike soy crops which are typically GM and require heavy water and pesticides to bring to market, insects require so little food and resources to thrive that scientists are dazzled with their potential. The Guardian claims that bugs "are twice as efficient as chickens and more than six times as efficient as cows" in terms of their food requirement per gram of protein that they yield.

That may sound great on paper, but in the real world, people are less likely to bite...especially if thoraxes and eensie little legs are involved. Bringing insect foods in the western world is going to require a hefty bit of greenwashing and/or phenomenal marketing to convince people to get past the gag factor. Chocolate covered crickets and lollypop enshrined larvae may still not seduce even the most daring gourmands among us.  Oh, and there's one other thing. Individuals who suffer from certain types of seafood allergies tend to have a clinical get out of jail pass when it comes to munching on bugs -- it should be avoided like the plague. The final hurdle that scientists must overcome before creating buggie burgers is this -- who in their right mind is going to willingly chomp on the very same insects that are bathed with chemical agents, particularly since their protein-packed bodies hold onto the toxins long after the clouds have settled? They may grace the tongue with nutty, crispy, melt-in-your-mouth-goodness, but I'll choose fresh hay over mealworms any day.