28 Photos of Mother Nature's Most Ugly & Downright Rude Veggies

Every so often, Mother Nature encourages her subjects to steer away from the flock and forge their own unique path, with surprising and sometimes very amusing results.

There’s nothing at all unattractive about these veggies with bird-like aspirations…in fact, it’s pretty impressive that they’ve spread their wings into so many vegetabley incarnations.

Britain’s ho-hum conforming cucumbers are no match for this perfectly ducky version that cropped up in a Hogsthorpe garden.

Oh….look who it is! Spuds Duckensy!

Birds of a zucchini and butternut squash feather flock together!

On occasion, local garden and agricultural shows make a sport out of displaying the misshapen casualties of weekend warrior gardeners.

However, their offerings seem downright tame compared to what can emerge from the garden. Well hello there, hot cha-cha-chile… 

Is that a tomato…or are you just excited to see me? (Yup...it's definitely a tomato...and apparently this isn't a one time phenomenon.)

It’s evident that this pepper wanted its 15 minutes of fame, too, as M.K. Sims so effectively captured. Well done, bell pepper…well done.

Buxom beauties and well-endowed veggie virility! Tony Mayhew has preserved for posterity this image of a va-va-voom eggplant who should perhaps consult with a plastic surgeon in order to address the unfortunate issue of north and south directional headlights. Other than that, quite a ravishing sight to behold.

Margot Sargent’s hyper-schwinging eggplant, on the other hand, could quite possibly scare the bejeezus out of any willing party. What kind of mineralized magic is Sargent putting into HER soil?!?

Doin’ it carrot, radish and parsnip style! Let’s give a big hand to this over-achieving radish…

and while we’re at it, time to kick our heels up for these foot-shaped versions, too.

While some of these vivid orange root veggies are clearly proud of their more than ample endowments, the guy on the top right seems to be slightly modest, don’t you think? Someone get him a fig leaf, stat!

We should probably allow these passionate sweeties, photographed by Maddy Julien, to carry on with their smooching session without the burden of public scrutiny, but it’s nice to see that even carrots get busy when the mood presents itself.

Parsnips shouldn’t be excluded from all of the fun, either, as Terry Cannon’s photo can attest.

Okay. Let me just venture a guess that these are both male carrots…and they’re relieving themselves like racehorses? ExCUSE me – you wanna point that thing in a different direction??!? Just sayin’…

Is that Luther Vandross I hear playing in the background? It's getting hot in here....

Hey…if these vegetable-like UFOs aren't careful, one thing could lead to another and they might end up with one of these…