Uh-Oh....Dudely Mojo Rendered Slow-Mo!

Men across the world with practically every conceivable cultural background would rather have 100% renewable bamboo toothpicks shoved underneath their fingernails and -- yes -- even submit to a full frontal body wax than be forced to give up their primal urge for meaty-cheesy goodness. Go ahead...ask the dude sitting right next to you. Yeah, him...I'll wait.

See what I mean? Apparently, insane levels of pain become fully tolerable to men when the dangling carrot promised to them is animal flesh and/or moo-milk product-related. Give members of the male persuation both edibles in one shot and its rumored that they'll willingly submit to a two-for-one colonoscopy and vasectomy. 

I'd imagine that many male readers just shuddered at the thought of the v-word -- I mean, what kind of a sicko, twisted operation is that? Probably pioneered by a woman, am I right?!? Yeah...but what if you've done the child-rearing thing already and you absolutely KNOW that your budget and/or patience can't possibly handle another bambino? What to do, what to do...oh, I know! Listen closely. 

I have good news for you...I think.  If you want to intentionally render your swimmers spazzy-to-the-max, or if you think that the concept of dietary vasectomization is rather intriguing, then keep chowing down on those  six-layered cheeseburgers and full-fat dairy products.  Say what? 

According to a recent study published in the journal of Fertility and Sterility, gentlemen who intentionally steer clear of low fat dairy and turn their nose up at a low-meat and high-produce diet are likely to have bummed out, unmotivated sperm that just can't seem to get the job done. Whoa.  Depending on your perspective, that will either make a whole lot of Greenwala members stock up on leafy greens and embrace recessionitarianism, or worship unfailingly at the altar of the golden arches.

 http://agricultureguide.org/uh-ohdudely-mojo-rendered-slow-mo/