WASTE NOT, WANT NOT

With the self-assured, rooster-strutting confidence of Saturday Night Fever's Tony Manero, he enters the office with ‘Here-I-am!' bravado, somehow convincing himself day after day that the swirl of smoke, mirrors and glittery glitz cascading around him registers even just one blip on our radars. We are not impressed. The notorious lord and master of partially slurped-n-chucked $5.00 lattes, half-consumed-and-ditched designer deli sandwiches and garbage-bound, pecked-at gourmet salads nonchalantly disposes of his slightly blemished (yet untouched) Colorado-grown peach with an unceremonious thump into the waste basket beside his desk.

Hardly surprising among the clan who witness such daily food-related offenses, this (like all of the other occasions) measures an even-keeled yellow on the food-waster-terrorist threat level. My colleagues tune out, and yet I am weakened. My goal becomes crystal-clear -- I MUST rescue that peach, somehow, some way. I wait for Monsieur Disco Fever to use the bathroom, take a smoke-break, ANYTHING, and yet he inexplicably remains glued to his seat. Hours pass. Sweat beads break out on my forehead. Surely his Morebucks Specialty Frappacoffeechino should have run though him by now...

For me, it's all about the principle. I'm not a waster. I prefer to think of myself as an innovative and highly resourceful food strategist. No matter what bits-and-pieces linger within the dark depths of my refrigerator, I always find a use for them --always! It all started with my upbringing. My parents instilled within my sister and me a great appreciation and enthusiasm for whatever edibles (spinach, Spam, lima beans...) that we were fortunate enough to have on our plates. I can still see my mother's dish-plate-sized irises exploding in a show of disapproval if we ever dared to turn up our noses at a meal she plunked down in front of us, which we did not.

Okay, maybe there was just one instance...yes, it's all coming back to me...it involved writhing bean sprout worms in chicken chow mein. I was always a very imaginative child. Aside from the wailing, teary-eyed fit that I pulled while mouthfuls of sprout rejects trailed sloppily down the corners of my mouth, I can't recall any other occasions where we were wasteful with food. We were clean plate club members in good standing.

As a rule, however, Americans tend to take for granted just how fortunate we are to have such a diverse bounty of edible resources. We have so many choices, so many brands, so many varieties of things to eat, and yet sadly, we allow a tremendous amount of what we purchase to go to waste. If it appears less-than-perfect, we ditch it. If we purchase a specific ingredient to use in a recipe and end up using just a small portion of it, we toss the balance. Chances are, if we have leftovers in the fridge, we even give them the heave-ho after a few days.

Guess what? I am living proof that you do not die or suffer incurable ailments when you dare to eat mild to moderately bruised/homely-looking produce or leftovers (6 days straight) and believe it or not, you can ALWAYS figure out how to utilize specially-purchased recipe ingredients in other ways...it's called the ‘kitchen sink' method of cooking, one of my personal favorites.

Anyway, I did manage to covertly rescue my colleague's peach castaway, and for a small moment in time, all order was once again restored to the universe (at least in my mind). I spirited the juicy jewel away to the solace and safety of my home where I examined it ever-so-carefully, under full-blown industrial lights (well, not really, but you get the picture). I was truly hard-pressed to comprehend why it was rejected. It was perfectly spherical, of moderate size and acceptable firmness and it exuded a slightly summery-sweet scent that would kick anyone's stomach grumbling reflexes into high gear. There were no ugly scars, no accidental impalements, and I could not detect evidence of any freckles, moles or similar fruity phenomenon(s).

I decided to consult with my mother and lean on her hawk-like powers of scrutiny, which almost instantaneously revealed that the peach was, in fact, slightly wrinkled. Wow. That was it? According to a recent environmental study, it is estimated that Americans dispense with 30% of the food that we have access to (equivalent to $48.3 billion dollars worth). Jeesh!

You've probably witnessed colleagues, bosses, neighbors and friends ditching munchables that might make a grown man weep uncontrollably (a very hungry one at that), or perhaps you yourself are one of those chronic chuckers. Personally, I've seen whale-sized turkeys cast aside with their ‘undesirable' dark meat still clinging to the bones, bell pepper tops and bottoms rejected in favor utilizing the easy-to-slice flat sections, party appetizers flung into the pail after being out on display for just a few hours...and that's just happening in our kitchens.

Did you ever consider what might be occurring within the other kitchens across the country? For approximately ten years, I worked as a waitress on Long Island, New York and silently bore witness to horrendously chronic displays of food waste. Week after week after endless week, perfectly appetizing and seemingly fresh restaurant food was dumped, no matter what place I worked at.

Five dozen fruit and cheese filled Danish pastries, six dozen assorted bagels, entire chafing dishes of bacon/sausage/omelettes/ham slices, seven pounds of fruit salad...all down the drain simply because no one touched it during Sunday brunch. Huge trays of leftover Penne Pasta in Vodka Sauce, Linguine with Braised Escarole In Garlic and Olive Oil, 16 palm-sized Meatballs, 12 crispy Chicken Cutlets...discarded at the end of the evening despite the fact that they were created just a few scant hours earlier.

Whether four star hotel, diner-style hash joint or upscale Italian trattoria, food was ditched with barely the flutter of an eyelash. We're talking MASSIVE AMOUNTS of fully cooked, gourmet meals and side dishes - asta la vista. There came a point when I gained enough confidence to speak out in protest - surely they could find a more practical use for all of that food?? Give it to the employees at the end of our shifts?? Donate it to local food banks??? Make less food ahead of time so there might be less remaining? Feed it to the staff for dinner, for God's sake??? The response was always the same, each and every time. Food code violation. Can't give it to anyone. Gotta throw it out. I

 was so shocked, so disappointed...how could such a ludicrous excuse be accurate? There were always less fortunate people in NEED...people who would perceive their kind, edible donations as a phenomenal gift from the gustatory Gods. Come to think of it, I WAS one of those people. No matter how vocal I became, how adamant I was about championing the practicality of food donation, I was met with steel-jawed resistance.

In the end, I somehow worked out a hush-hush agreement with a kind-hearted Spanish-speaking sous chef in an Italian restaurant that I worked at -- he looked the other way on a regular basis while I smuggled pasta cast-aways into my family's refrigerator. Though there were some close encounters with my disapproving, tyrannical boss, I was able to keep a significant amount of his rejected food out of the landfill. But, that was back in the 90s, and I was one solitary individual.

We're now in the year 2009. One would hope that we've made significant strides by now, but a new policy brief issued by three major environmental organizations confirms that close to half of all food produced worldwide is discarded after production, despite its near-pristine condition. Anybody who has ever unhitched their jaw at an all-you-can eat buffet or wheeled their cart up and down a mega-supermarket knows how much food we waste on a regular basis. It's surely happening inside corporate/grade school/university cafeterias, fast food kitchens, and during major fund-raising events, too.

So, what can we do? I feel that the drop-in-the-bucket approach is the first line of defense. If we all modify our behavior just a little (behind our own four walls), then collectively, we can reduce the amount of food that we are wasting as a community. By reassessing our kitchen/food prep habits and adopting a more practical (and yes, even frugal) attitude, we will truly be making a measurable difference.

If you think that you can't use something edible (surplus produce from your garden, extra muffins, you name it!) what about freezing it for a rainy day, or how about offering it to someone who might really appreciate it (such as an older neighbor on a fixed budget, family members, work colleagues...)??? Better yet, seek out local food banks -- find out what their requirements are for food donations and spread some sunshine their way. I'm sure that there are far more effective ways to reach a wider audience, however, with an issue as widespread as this, figuring out where to begin can be a bit daunting.

Either way, we can't afford to turn a blind eye to this widespread waster-mentality any more. As for any wrinkled fruit you may encounter in the near future, if it is truly that offensive to your refined pallate, please whip out your handy-dandy paring knife, carve off the offending sections, and donate them to your feathered friends -- that would be peachy-keen! (Ditto for veggies, moldy bread, etc.)

http://agricultureguide.org/waste-not-want-not/