Top 5 Reasons Why Being A Twitterin’ Junkie Is NOT GREEN!

If someone - anyone! - suggested to me just one week ago that I, too, would ultimately join the ranks of the Twittering-Digging-Mixxing-Stumbling-and-Facebook-addicted, I would have dramatically tossed my head back and laughed with reckless abandon for a good 7 minutes straight. Techie mumbo-jumbo has never been my thing, and here's a wacky confession - I've actually relished the anonymity and simplicity inherent in my up-until-now unplugged life. Of course I use a computer - don't we all? - but after putting in a honest day's work, I was always able to push myself away from the desk and easily say buh-bye! to that big hunk of hardware until the next morning.

Throughout the years, the ever-increasing availability of portable technology devices has certainly registered on my aware-o-meter. I've watched on the sidelines as friends sighed deeply while attempting to manage the apparently escalating demands of their cyber responsibilities. It has always seemed so strange to me that many of them turned off their various pocket-worthy devices altogether or audibly harrumphed as they sent out a half-hearted Tweet here and there into the world for all to see -- as if all they could muster was tossing out a few crumbs to placate their legions of followers. I knew without question that I wanted no part of the madness, and the apparently irresistible forces of the iPhone and assorted other nifty modes of communication have still to done nothing to compromise my steely resolve.

How it came to be that I, intentional eschewer of all non-necessary 21^st century technologies, ended up getting sucked head-first into the online social media tractor beam emanating from my desktop computer is of no real concern. What's far more interesting (and baffling) is that the collectively maddeningly and highly addictive forces beckoning me through my computer screen have caused this eager greenie to get sucked into a fast-and-furious vortex of sludge, mucky-muckiness and decidedly non-green behavior. This naturally led me to wonder -- is it possible that my Twitter-Digg-Stumble Upon-Mixx-Delicious-Reddit-Technorati-Facebook addiction is undoing all of my greenification efforts? Below are my dead-honest and rather unsettling observations...you be the judge. 

Energy Use Increased. Although my addiction is in its infancy, the fact remains that I have been glued to my computer screen for a solid 15 - 16 hours a day (in the first week alone). Back in the day, I used to sleep some of those hours. I realize now that I'm not only keeping my lights on longer -- my computer is also tapping into some serious ampage.

Diet Became Uber-Crummy. From the moment I park myself in front of my desk until the moment I tear myself away in the late, late hours of the evening, I've noticed that anything I can graze on (out of a bag) has become my closest computer companion. Junk food is one of our environment's worst offenders, and yet I, one of the most dedicated green living gurus out there cannot seem to resist the force of the Dorito. How pathetic that my Twitter-et-al addiction has rendered me incapable of peeling a grapefruit or chomping on some carrots instead. Take a peek into my garbage can and all you'll see are empty plastic bags and mylar snack food wrappers.  Baaaaad greenie

Personal Grooming Took a Nose-Dive. Mayday! Mayday! Things have gone from bad to worse in just 5 days flat. Thank God you can't see what I'm talking about between the words on your screen...it is NOT a pretty sight. Some environmental enthusiasts might argue that I have, in fact, helped the planet by dramatically reducing my water consumption and cutting back on the amount of personal care products that I wash down the drain.  Ha ha ha. Nice try, people. Thanks to my walk on the sludgey side (and decidedly grody junk food diet), my skin has decided to revolt by incubating a horrifying collection of blemishes that I didn't know were possible for someone past the age of puberty. Nowwww, I'm forced to buy a bunch of industrial-strength products to combat an issue that wouldn't have arisen at all if I had just torn myself away long enough to take a few showers. Yeah, I know...I disgust myself, too. Thanks a lot, Twitter-n-company!

Household Looks Like Hell In A Handbasket. You don't even know the half of it. While I admit that having four geriatric felines on the prowl can result in an awful lot of collective kitty tumbleweeds, vomit, bile, hairballs and, well -- let's face it -- feline sneeze juice, when one allows this kind of force to go unchecked for any extended period of time, the result is eye-crossingly vile. Guess what, folks? My sweet little natural cleaning arsenal is NO MATCH for the freak show that is leaping off of my hardwood floors. Trust me...I just tried spraying 3 of my normally hardest working natural cleaners on what appears to be baked-on-caked-on mystery cat goo and the funky mass didn't even flinch or whimper. Methinks I'm forced to dig the turbo Clorox out from the bowels of my cleaning product box of shame.

Lost Touch With Reality! "How can that be?" some of you must be saying...no worries, allow me to shed some light. While I have become hyper-connected to the world of Diggs and walls and Tweets and diddleydoos, I am at the core a nature lover, pure and simple. I still have enough of my wits remaining to recognize that my cyber-reality has completely overshadowed my reality-reality. The organic seeds that I meant to start in wee little peat pots indoors are still sitting on my countertop untouched, as is the plot of land outside my home that I had grand intentions of transforming into my first official raised bed. I've been so busy getting my Twitter on that I haven't stopped to smell the spring air, or taken a moment away from my desk to watch the first few hummingbirds partake in the peach blossoms right outside my window.

I think that one of the major reasons why a person goes green is to embrace Mother Nature's treasures and to do what they can to return the favor. While I can't say with any degree of certainty that I am ready, willing or able to shake this nasty new computer-connected habit of mine, I am sure that it has compromised my ability to walk a greener path. At the most simple level, I miss inhaling genuine outdoor air and taking in the sights and sounds of the forest unfurling around my property. Carl Jung once said that every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. If he only had just a slight inkling of what was on the social media horizon, he might have changed his tune. Even with greenie-guilt weighing on my mind, I know that as soon as I complete this exercise in self-flagellation, I plan to post it on Twitter for all to see.