Step Right Up! How’z About A Cookie-Cutter “Go Green” Catch Phrase Just For You?

Catch phrases infiltrate our collective subconscious the way that silky bunnies and doe-eyed puppies instinctually cause anyone with a pulse to utter a long, drawn-out “awwwwwww.” It is almost 98.97% likely that a random person on the street will be able to declare with rapid fire delivery that Maxwell House coffee is good to the last drop, Bounty Paper Towels are the quicker picker upper and Lucky Charms cereal is magically delicious. The more bouncy the phrase, the more game consumers are to go for an ad campaign hook, line and sinker.  If you’re the slightest bit skeptical, just consider what Alka Seltzer achieved by stringing the following words together: “Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is.” See? That sing-songy product description automatically makes you want to run out to the drugstore, even if your internal systems are right as rain.

Apparently, the marketing forces that conjured up the global campaign to convince lazy, gluttonous, stuff-obsessed consumers to reassess their attitudes, behave in a more environmentally-friendly manner and just Go Green took the day off (er…maybe a full calendar year). Perhaps they fell asleep in class on the precise day that crucial advertising pearls of wisdom were bestowed upon them. What other explanation could justify the selection of such an uninspiring pair of words? Frankly, I could have done better myself if my sole muse was a wildebeest standing on top of a block of concrete. Where’s the rhyming couplet…the flowing alliterative phrase…the tongue-in-cheek play on words…the chirpy let clever little message? The best that they could do was plunk a two letter g-word in front of a five letter g-word?!?

Musical groups that hearken back to the dawn of time and even throughout present day tunage have mastered the simple art of catch phrase development without breaking so much as a bead of sweat over their top lips. The most rudimentary form is evident in the band names Lynyrd Skynard, Wang Chung, Kajagoogoo, Chumbawumba, U2, Tears For Fears, Oingo Boingo, Heaven 17, INXS, Sigue Sigue Sputnik and oh yes, Milli Vanilli.  How many of them do you think actually studied marketing, eh? Exactly. In the naturally fertile minds of Led Zeppelin, the phrase Go Green! could have become a rallying cry to Stomp Amid Yonder Hills Of Emerald! or if Sting got his hands on it, we might instead De Yay-Yo! for Mother Earth with more of skip in our step. That might have been more enjoyable, don’t you think?

Instead, thanks to a lackluster call from the higher-ups to do our part and just Go Green (with no exclamation point) many people out there can’t help but drag their heels while begrudgingly dropping a paltry 22% of their recyclables into curbside collection bins. Where’s the energy in that statement? If history has taught us anything, it’s that people are more likely to rally when some sense of purpose and excitement is generated -- and yes -- a few little words lined up in a row can actually do that. It’s all in the delivery. Some obvious examples come to mind: Yes, we can! or… Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country! Why couldn’t the corporate catch phrase crafters put just a liiiiit-tle bit more effort into their name generation process? If they were hell-bent on the “green” aspect, they could have come up with a few infinitely niftier alterna-sayings such as: Green Your Scene, Jellybean!… Step Onboard The Green Team!…Greening Is Believing!…or if all else failed, maybe they could have just recruited everyone to become a member of the Garbage Annihilation Society?!?! No….instead, we’re stuck with Go Green until the end of time, or until the “trend” dies out, whichever comes first. Homey definitely don’t play that. D’oh!