The Top 10 Things I Would Do If I Were the New CEO of BP

1. Equip EVERYTHING with an emergency shut off valve from now on. Even Youtube and ballpoint pens.

2. Employ people who have lost income as a result of the spill. I would pay them 80% of their former salary and benefits if they agree to spend the interim physically cleaning up the coastline and rescuing birds and marine life.

3. Pledge 10% of the company's profits over the next ten years to subsidizing reliable green public transportation within the affected area in hopes that this will revitalize tourism.

4. Become a leader among oil companies in emergency management response by assembling a permanent team of scientists and engineers to study infrastructure problems and their possible solutions BEFORE emergencies occur. I would publish the results of their studies on my own website and personally author five-year plans to decrease the likelihood that any of these should occur in the future.

5. Research any harmless minerals, composts or supplements known to jumpstart or support plant life in the gulf. If any are found, purchase them by the ton.

6. Shore up any coastlines lost in the spill with appropriate compost and planting.

7. Stop donating to the campaign funds of politicians that are in denial over the environment. BP performs a necessary evil for profit. Not a service to humanity.

8. Establish the largest green energy scholarship and research fund to date. Hire those with promising proposals and diversify business activities within the next ten years.

9. Throw all my political weight into stopping the wars overseas because the Army and Navy Corps of Engineers are needed at home repairing public infrastructure. I know that the state of my company's equipment will be better off for this.

10. Issue a public apology.